State Of Mind
by Drea Jackman
Summary: When Logan & Max are drawing closer by the day, what could fate possibly throw at them next? (NEW! Chapter 4&5!)
1. Chapter One

TITLE: State of Mind   
  
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman   
  
EMAIL: DreaJackman@Literati.co.uk   
  
RATING: PG-13   
  
SUMMARY: When Logan & Max are drawing closer by the day, what could fate possibly throw at them next?  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters involved. They belong to Cameron/Eglee Producions :(   
  
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.   
  
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!   
  
A/N: Just another fic spat out thanks to an overactive muse. *sigh* The torment is killing me. I have SO many fic's here all half done and the ones that are finished I haven't had time to type up. I'm SORRY! Lol, I'm doin' the best I can. If this one sucks, just pretend you didn't read it :) Actually lemme know cause I have the next few chapters in the works as we speak.  
  
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"Tomorrow?" Logan's voice tested in his typically soft manner as he leaned in the doorway of the elevator in his apartment. Max stood inside leaning on the other side much like him as she looked up at him with eyes that sparkled, revealing the happy glow of yet another evening at Logan's. Dinner, desert, a few games of chess which, of course she'd done the only thing she could've and won. And then there was the conversation. Always relaxed and comfortable. It had become a regular highlight with them both.  
  
"Yeah," she said softly. "Tomorrow."  
  
Logan beamed and his eyes took on the same radiant glow hers had shown him. His reaction was completely worth repeating her answer a million times over, but Max managed to fight off the temptation and just enjoyed the response her words had elicited.  
  
Both stepped back from the elevator doorway, eyes still locked in an afterglow state as their bodies hummed with the enjoyment of the evening. Max reached over and pressed the ground floor button and as the elevator doors began to slide closed, their eyes finally broke their holding gaze.  
  
Logan stood perfectly still as if frozen in the moment that had occurred as the doors had taken Max's image from his eyes. Staring at the last spot he'd seen her in he found himself content to stay there and reflect on the evenings events. After a few moments of standing there in complete silence, Logan sighed with another smile as he turned slowly with a slight, but knowing nod to himself and walked back to the living room, the only sound audible was the constant but gentle whir of the exosuit around his lower half.  
  
The ride down in the elevator was a long one for Max. Actually, to her it felt like every second was one far too long spent away from Logan. It wasn't conscious or conjured out of want, and regardless of what she'd always told herself existed between Logan and her, or not, she found herself thinking of him anyway. She couldn't stop the thoughts anymore than she could stop breathing the air. Okay, so she had to briefly stop to remind herself that she could stop breathing the air longer than most, but the eventual outcome was always the same, no matter how delayed. Her eyes still sparkled with the contentment of her evening had brought and she didn't hold her usual stance either. She leaned against the adjacent wall of the elevator in the same spot she'd been in before the doors had drawn closed and taken the blue of Logan's eyes away.  
  
Suddenly Max snapped back from once again drowning in his cerulean depths as the elevator sounded her destination had arrived and the heavy metal doors lurched open. Shrugging it off she walked out onto the street and stopped by her motorcycle. As she drew the keys out of her pocket she looked up, way up towards the penthouse where she'd been spending more and more time. Dinner used to be a once, maybe twice weekly thing for them when Eyes Only wasn't on a mission to save the world, but recently it'd become more frequent.   
  
First it was three times in that first week, then four the next after the following weekend, but always staggered. Tonight she'd felt powerless in denying his further request of her. Dinner tomorrow. Max felt as if she'd been living there the past week and if it went on a timed basis, she'd have been right. She hadn't really spent a whole day's worth of time away from him in the past week. Something told her the next night would be no different.  
  
* * *  
  
The next night Max arrived at Fogle Towers at the usual time. Securing her bike she went inside and entered the elevator, clicking on the penthouse as her desired destination. Her attire was no less flattering than it normally was even in it's casual nature. The usual blue jeans and short-sleeved top, tonight wine red in colour.  
  
As the elevator stopped and the great doors swung open Max walked across the small hallway and stopped by the door to Logan's apartment. It was another habit she'd found herself keeping lately. Knocking three times she awaited the reply from inside. The seconds passed gradually and finally the door swung open to reveal Logan, a content smile on his face.  
  
"Hey," he greeted the much-loved sight before him.  
  
"Hey yourself," Max replied as she walked inside at his gesture.  
  
"Y'know you can just walk in without knocking," he said closing the door behind her.  
  
"Yeah," she sighed slipping out of her jacket. Immediately her mind thought of how easy it was for her to usually just pick his lock and get in that way, but the afterthought of home kept growing in her mind until she couldn't ignore it any longer. Logan letting her come and go as she pleased, without the need for lock-picking was almost like handing her a key to the penthouse itself.  
  
"So, why'd you stop?"  
  
Max didn't really want to say it was mainly because of the fact that she liked watching his face light up the way she was almost certain hers did upon the opening of the door standing between them, so she played around it hoping to avoid the less comfortable idea that it was because she was beginning to feel like being at Fogle Towers with him was more home than her own was.  
  
"A girl has her reasons."  
  
"Yeah," Logan said looking at her unconvinced. "Okay."  
  
Following Max into the living room space Logan glanced around the room checking it over again. He smiled knowingly to himself as he noted it's appearance. Perfect, now that Max was standing in it. Max looked around herself as she moved to the couch where she dumped her jacket over the side. The room was set up typical of Logan. Main lights dimmed down, candles surrounding the ledge beneath the huge windows on the far walls.  
  
Her eyes also fell to the bottle of wine complete with two wine glasses set neatly by an already prepared chess board. Max smiled to herself again thanking him in an unspoken voice for his attention to the little things.  
  
"I'll be in the kitchen," Logan said gesturing behind him.  
  
"Y'know one of these days you're really going to have to teach me how to cook up something to tantalize the taste buds," Max rhymed off with a smile.  
  
  
"I think we'll be able to arrange that," Logan replied echoing her smile as he turned back to the kitchen area.  
  
Max nodded slightly pleased with herself and turned towards the windows that Logan had delicately illuminated with rows of candles. Their soft light reflected in the glass panes and lit up the distant corner with a warm glow. Max couldn't resist the urge to go and stand within it's glow as she stared out of the windows just enjoying the feeling of being someplace safe and warm.  
  
Over the past week she'd slowly come to the conclusion that Fogle Towers was as much home as anywhere else. Staring out over the darkened city below Max corrected herself. It wasn't Fogle Towers, it was anyplace Logan was, anyplace she could be with him. He made her feel safe, protected and even loved. To her it may not have been the complicated love the likes of which Original Cindy kept insisting existed between them, but the love of a best friend, a soul mate. But, what she had to agree to in that moment was that it was the relationship that threatened to spill over and become much more in a hurry. In truth it scared her to think that something so powerful could already exist beneath the surface and that it could manifest itself with great ease, using her as a pawn in doing so to further the relationship. She'd been putting off talking about it all week, but even she knew she couldn't hide it forever.  
  
Logan returned minutes later carrying two lavishly spread plates. There was a host of delicious looking foods portioned on both and Max almost felt her stomach growl at the sight. Walking to Logan their eyes locked again, the same kind of giddy happiness ceasing them and leaving them powerless to do little else. Without a word Logan held out both plates for Max, who took them from him equally as silent. Neither flinched in the slightest as they felt their fingers brush against each other.  
  
"I forgot the wine," Logan breathed softly.  
  
"Hurry back, " Max replied equally as soft as she watched him take a few steps back before turning into the kitchen. She took their dinner into the dining area just off the main living room and set the plates down on the dining table. The apartment was perfect, the evening was perfect and the company, he was perfect too.  
  
Suddenly the serenity of the reflective moment shattered as a loud crash echoed back from the kitchen and even over the loud thud of her heart beating rapidly Max could hear the muffled gasp from Logan. Within seconds she'd left the dining area and crossed the living room to reach the kitchen.   
  
"Logan?" she called worried. The sight that greeted her only made her heart race faster and the sickening worry increase to near panic.   
  
"Logan!" 


	2. Chapter Two

TITLE: State of Mind   
  
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman   
  
EMAIL: DreaJackman@Literati.co.uk   
  
RATING: PG-13   
  
SUMMARY: When Logan & Max are drawing closer by the day, what could fate possibly throw  
at them next?  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters involved. They belong to Cameron/Eglee  
Producions :(   
  
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.   
  
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!   
  
A/N: Ah, I see the cliffhanger-ish ending to the first chapter got a few peeps hooked. See  
what you make of this then? Yay or neigh? Should I continue or let it rest? (Honest, if you really  
hate it, I'll move onto another I'm sure you'll like. *evil grin at what's up sleeve*)  
  
___________________________________________________________   
  
  
There was blood, alot of it and it wasn't slowing it's flow anytime soon by the look of it. She  
followed the trail up over what had been his pristine white shirt, buttoned down at the neck and  
rolled up at the sleeves in a way that had made her eyes light up earlier, his chest visibly  
heaving beneath the thin material. The blood was flowing from a cut across the right side of his  
forehead, but from scanning it quickly she knew it wasn't serious. Dropping to her knees by his  
side she tried to rouse him from the daze he was in. His eyes were unfocused and fluttered  
closed each time he tried to open them. His breathing hitched rapidly in the back of his throat as  
he gasped for breath.  
  
"Logan," she tried again, but it was no use.   
  
Logan's head moved slowly from side to side as if he was struggling to stay conscious and Max  
tried to steady his movements. One hand slid through his hair to gently steady his head as the  
other splayed out over his chest, her palm moving in slow, even circles to try and calm his  
breathing. Her eyes flew around the scene to try and determine what had happened to him.  
  
The wine bottle lay in shattered fragments and it's scarlet contents tainted an otherwise pristine  
floor near Logan's left foot. It was then that she realized what must have happened as she finally  
heard the audible choke of the servomotor. Logan's left let twitched irregularly, even in his  
disoriented state. Another suit malfunction, but the details of what exactly had happened could  
wait.  
  
"Shh, it's okay," she turned her attention back to the man in her arms. "You fell down, but  
everything's okay."  
  
Logan's eyes made contact with hers briefly as he struggled once more to focus. He inhaled a  
little more deeply, the shallow breathing beaten momentarily, but the fight wasn't his to win. With  
that Logan's eyes rolled back into his head as his body slumped in her arms. Max gently held  
him there a little longer before taking action to treat the head wound. The servo's spluttering was  
beginning to wear her already thin patience down and she hated the way it made Logan's body  
react. Reaching down to his right knee she deactivated the suit.  
  
Before moving him she checked her surroundings one last time, her eyes cast upward to catch  
the faint, bloody smear on the protruding corner of the work surface. From that she clearly  
deduced that the suit's malfunction had caught Logan off guard and he'd come down hard over  
the counter. She only realized when she looked back down at him lying there unconscious that  
tears had welled up in her eyes.  
  
Shrugging the tears away she sat Logan upright as she guided his heavy-hanging head to rest  
on her shoulder. Her other arm reached down scooping up his motionless legs and once she  
had him held securely, Max picked him up with great ease. The additional weight of the exosuit  
made no difference to her ability to carry Logan's lean frame. Standing at around six foot two  
Max had no doubt that any normal person may have struggled with the weight, but not her.   
  
Eyes avoided all the symbols that had promised the perfect evening. The waiting chess board all  
set up and prepared with wine at the ready, dinner laid out lavishly on the dining room table to  
grow cold, candles burning their intimate glow down unnoticed. Max's eyes didn't stray from her  
destination as they remained at blank front, her face expressionless.  
  
As Max entered Logan's bedroom she found that it too was illuminated by candle light. There  
were huge, old gothic style candles set up all around the head of the bed on both night stands  
and along the long sweeping window ledges. Still, her mind didn't focus on the possible intent or  
purpose they may have been intended to serve. Right now they provided her enough light to  
tend Logan by. That was enough.  
  
Laying him down gently on the bed Max straightened out Logan's legs before going to sit on the  
edge of the bed by him. The cut across his forehead had finally begun to stop bleeding, the dried  
blood marring his handsome features as it trailed down through his right eyebrow and over the  
side of his face before disappearing into his disheveled hair. His expression was calm and  
innocent as he lay before her. Despite that, Max was still sickeningly worried. The head wound  
itself may have looked bad, even though it wasn't serious, but the full extent of the trauma was  
still unknown.  
  
Slowly she slid a hand over the left side of his forehead and down across his stubbled cheek. It  
seemed so typical that something like this would happen. Now that she'd gradually been coming  
to realize her own feelings towards Logan, she'd also become more keenly aware of how hard  
he was on himself. Always pushing the boat out to please her when he should've known it wasn't  
necessary. Always fighting so hard to get out of the chair, even when the world took his legs out  
from under him in more ways that surpassed the literal sense. Trying to forget that he couldn't  
walk to be with her and then something like tonight had gone and taken that away from him too.   
  
Max sighed and bit down the growing hatred at what fate had let happen and let her thumb trace  
his cheekbone briefly before going off into the bathroom to gather her needed supplies.  
  
"C'mon," she grumbled as she tore through the cabinet under the sink. "I know Bling's got a  
stash around here somewhere."  
  
Finally finding the first aid kit stashed neatly at the back of the cupboard space Max grabbed the  
dark green box and sat it up on the ledge by the sink. Grabbing two of the face towels and a  
hand towel that lay nearby she threw one of the face cloths into the sink and turned on the tap  
unleashing a full onslaught of cool water. Once the cloth was completely saturated she rang off  
the worst of the excess water and grabbed the kit and other towels. When she returned to  
Logan's bedside she found that he was still out cold.  
  
Spreading the dry towel out beside him she opened the kit and began to remove the things she'd  
need. Laying them out with military precision Max took the wet towel and ran some of the water  
over his forehead. The liquid seeped across his already glowing skin and began to stain red as it  
merged with the blood. Taking a swab from her layout Max gently cleaned him up, taking great  
care not to be overly harsh in dealing with the gash across his right side.  
  
As the final sweep was made and a clean dressing in place, Logan began to stir. Max shifted  
over in bed to give him some more room. Watching intently as his eyelids fluttered open to  
reveal his unfocused blue eyes still groggy from the fall, she slid a hand across to lay it on his  
bare lower arm.  
  
"Hey," she said softly.  
  
Logan didn't answer, his gaze beginning to clear up as he focused on the ceiling above.  
  
"Thought you were gonna be out all night."  
  
"Max?" he replied, suddenly sounding as if everything was just clicking into place.  
  
"Yeah," she answered squeezing her grip on his arm before sliding her hand down into his. "I'm  
right here."  
  
"What's happening?" his voice betrayed his confusion plainer than she'd ever heard present in  
his words before.  
  
"The suit, it gave out, you fell down," she explained bringing her hand up to his forehead. It felt a  
little warmer than she was happy with. "Hit your head one hell of a blow on your way down too."  
  
"Oh," he replied after a brief pause. He was still pretty out of it. The dull ache he'd come round  
with was rapidly escalating to dizzying heights. Suddenly those dizzying heights began to spin  
way too fast for him.  
  
"Logan?" Max checked quickly as she noticed his face drain of all colour.  
  
Logan began to push himself up in bed and sit up. Max reluctantly let him do so, but didn't move  
any further away from him on the bed. Before she knew it he'd almost keeled over out of the bed  
as he made to get up, his legs refusing to cooperate. Max's cat-like reflexes kicked in as her  
other hand shot out to grab him.  
  
"Hey! Careful," she warned pulling him back to rest against the pillows piled at his back.  
  
His body flopped back against them, his eyes squeezed tightly closed as he tried to breath  
evenly. Instead the air came in short, irregular gasps. "I feel," he broke off on another pant. "I'm  
gonna,"  
  
Max didn't waste any time in leaping off the bed. Within seconds she'd returned with a basin  
from under the sink in the kitchen. Resting it in his lap as she landed on the bed beside him  
again, she held it there while her other hand gently guided his head, supporting him as he  
leaned forward. "Here, I got it."  
  
As if on cue, Logan's body convulsed as he vomited into the basin. Max just held him steady. His  
own body couldn't give him the support he needed, so Max was there, an untapped source of  
strength he could draw on to get him through. As the vomiting subsided, the heat radiating from  
Logan's body was uncomfortably hot, even to the touch. The flimsy shirt he'd worn was now  
showing signs of his perspiration. Max kept up her soothing movements, her hand continuing to  
draw sweeping circles across his back. It was only as she did so that she felt the trembling  
increasing throughout his body.  
  
Logan's body was slumped in her arms, his body too weak to hold out. He couldn't open his eyes  
because everytime he did, the dull glow of the candles was enough to send more stabbing pain  
through his head. Every breath only fanned the flames of nausea and weakness that gripped  
him. His mind couldn't focus clearly on what was happening or how he'd ended up as he was.  
The one thing he was keenly aware of was that even in the fear of disorientation and confusion  
he wasn't alone. She was there, Max, his guardian angel.  
  
"Feeling any better?" Max tested as she leaned Logan back into the soft pillows before moving  
the basin aside. She'd deal with clean-ups later. Reaching out she tentatively laid a hand gently  
on his forehead testing it again. Grabbing the waterlogged face cloth she quickly set about  
stroking it down either cheek before down his neck. Logan only flinched at the contact,  
attempting to move away from the source of his discomfort.  
  
"You're burning up," she tried to explain, sounding more worried by the second, her voice  
betraying everything her Manticore training had attempted to beat out of her. She was all too  
aware that severe concussions usually came with a boatload of symptoms, nausea and  
headaches a given in the situation. Max could only hope her mental tally wouldn't keep  
increasing.  
  
After a few minutes of trying to cool him off Max realized that it wasn't working. Logan's  
breathing was still somewhat laboured, coming in short pants that the body used to try and  
regulate with soothing beats. Beads of sweat had already begun to appear across his forehead  
and the same tired glow radiated from his face. As another droplet of sweat made it's way  
cascading down his cheek only to disappear into the stubble covering his jaw, Max lost what little  
patience she'd had.  
  
"Logan? Hey, c'mon look at me," she almost ordered trying to make him open his eyes and react  
again.  
  
"Mmph." The sound was barely an audible mumble as his head turned away from her,  
completely unable to respond the way he'd like.  
  
"Damn it!" she exclaimed leaping off the bed again.   
  
Within seconds she was back with a bowl and glass of water. With all the fluids he was losing  
she had to get some back into him fast. The towels she had, she'd soak and use to cool him  
down some more. Setting the bowl and glass down on the nightstand beside her Max threw the  
sodden towels on the bed, not really caring what she soaked in the process. Logan's  
temperature was dangerously high and she had to get it down, that was her main objective.  
  
Without uttering another word she set about the task at hand. His shirt was buttoned down at the  
neck, the finishing touch to his look for the casual night he'd planned with Max before fate had  
intervened. Max unbuttoned it all the way down hastily and slid her hands inside. The contours  
and textures beneath her touch may have been pleasing at any other time, but as she slid her  
hands over his chest and down his sides, pushing the sweat-soaked shirt back off his body she  
took no pleasure in the act at all.  
  
His skin was hot, unbearably so. If she hadn't known any better, she would have compared it to  
her own heat phase, but that wasn't the issue right now. The sheen or perspiration glowed  
across his exposed flesh and the light dusting of hair lay flat across his chest and down the  
valley it traced downward to his stomach. Once again, what should've been a pleasant sight was  
twisted into something of worry and fear.  
  
Grabbing one of the towels Max trailed it across his heated skin slowly, clearing away all the  
beads of sweat that lay in her path. Finally laying it over him, she took the other and spread it  
over his upper chest, hoping that prolonged contact might bring his temperature down. Sliding a  
hand up into his hair she pushed the disarray of fallen spikes back up off his forehead and  
trailed her hand down his cheek gently. With a sigh she stood up and headed out towards  
Logan's office space to call for some help.  
  
It was only when she got there that she realized that there had been another brownout. Yet  
another piece of good news to add to the nights collective and another that would surely help  
matters no end. Clutching Logan's phone to her chest Max leaned back on the screens  
separating the hall from the main room and sighed.   
  
"What now?" 


	3. Chapter Three

TITLE: State of Mind   
  
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman   
  
EMAIL: DreaJackman@Literati.co.uk   
  
RATING: PG-13   
  
SUMMARY: When Logan & Max are drawing closer by the day, what could fate possibly throw  
at them next?  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters involved. They belong to Cameron/Eglee  
Producions :(   
  
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.   
  
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!   
  
A/N: Again, these lil cliffhanger endings tend to be going down a little better than my usual drawing to a close method, lol. Maybe I'll hafta remember to end ALL chapters on not quite so fuzzy notes and more of the "omg what's happened?" thing. Nah, I'm only kidding. Wouldn't put you through all that stress. Okay folks, this is chapter 3, written in a spare hour I had going. I don't know when the next will be up, so you'll just have to bear with me :) Patience is a virtue y'know.  
  
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Staring round at the dimly lit apartment Max lost herself in thought for long moments. How could all this be happening? Why Logan and why now? Raising the phone again she flipped onto speed dial and called another familiar number. Patiently waiting out the ring tones she drummed her fingers on the back of the small plastic covering and glared at one of Logan's deactivated computer screens.  
  
"Yeah?" the voice on the other end of the phone answered sounding somewhat cheerful.  
  
"Bling?" The relief in her voice was almost tangible as the air around her filled with the sound of her desperate tones.  
  
"Max? Everything okay?"  
  
"Logan's sick." She began sounding a little calmer. "The servo gave out on the suit and he hit his head real bad. He's already been sick and he's still completely out of it. I'm trying to bring his temp down but I don't know what else to do."   
  
Her explanation finished, Max took brief shallow breaths to steady her nerves. She'd been around people when they'd been sick and it'd never bothered her before, but the fact that it was Logan lying there helpless on the bed looking for her to help him almost terrified her. What probably made it worse was the fact that steady as she'd appeared to be, she was all out of options. She wasn't a doctor and most certainly didn't know what extent he was really hurt to. All she could do was hope that whatever she did could bring some comfort until she could get help.   
  
"He's been conscious then?" Bling asked, his voice slipping into command mode.  
  
"Yeah, but he's not coherent at all."  
  
"And you say he vomited?"   
  
"Yeah we already covered that," she replied, her voice clearly allowing her frustration to shine through.  
  
"Temperature too?"   
  
"Yeah Bling, the works. I don't know what to do here."  
  
"Listen, I'm gonna head over right now. With the brownout it'll take me a while to clear the sector points, but what I need for you to do is keep him comfortable," he ordered calmly, managing to maintain his cool alot easier than Max was at that point.  
  
"Bling?" Her voice was suddenly soft and gentle, almost childlike.  
  
"Max?"  
  
"Is he gonna be okay?" she asked still dreading the answer.  
  
"I'll be over as soon as I can," he answered, skimming over her previous question to allow it to go unanswered.   
  
Max knew exactly what he meant. He hadn't wanted to give the answer he knew to be true, the one he knew might destroy her at the thought. Better to keep her in the dark and let her treat Logan as best she could unhindered. But, what Bling didn't take into account was the fact that Max was already there, picturing every awful scene she could come up with. It was like an unending nightmare playing over with different scenarios inside her head, but they all had the same kind of outcome. One she wasn't ashamed to admit terrified her.   
  
Not answering him, Max hung up the phone and held it to her chest again looking down at the darkened hardwood floor beneath her feet. Finally getting it together she carried the phone off to Logan's room where she peered around the door not wanting to disturb him anymore than she had to. He was lying much the same was she'd left him. His cheeks were flushed and his brow ruffled as he slowly shifted around in the bed. His immobile legs remained stretched out before him, eyes closed tight to block out the dull glow of the surrounding candles. He looked so fragile, like at that moment anything could've broken him for good.   
Max couldn't remember a time when she'd ever thought that about him, not Logan. When she'd met him he'd been the slightly irritating rich guy playing superhero with his secret identity complete with mask and cyber hacks. A little later he'd been an employer, someone she maintained a deal with, their quid pro quo being mutually beneficial to their needs. She became his new legs on the job and he dug up the information she sought on her family. Now he was a close friend, in truth her best friend. He knew her better than anyone ever had, never shying away from even the darkest of her secrets as they'd been revealed to him.   
  
Something in the back of her mind persisted and made her realize in that instant, watching over him from afar, that it didn't stop there. It went far beyond all definition. They'd never actually said it, but they did care about each other, probably more than they should, even Max knew that. What's more, now that she knew exactly how she felt, it wasn't going to go unsaid for much longer. He was strength to draw on to keep her going.  
  
And yet why was it now she couldn't see anything past his vulnerability? The chair hadn't made him appear weak or vulnerable to her, despite how she knew Logan had thought that at least in some small degree, not giving her the credit she deserved for caring about him, even as a friend. Now it wasn't weakness to admit it, or weakness she saw in the man lying on the bed before her. Right now, much as she hated to admit it, he was helpless. Actually relying on her being there to lend some comfort.   
  
"Mmm," Logan's audible mumble drifted back to her and her eyes came back to focus on him. Moving to him slowly she laid the phone quietly on the night stand closest to her.  
  
"Logan?" she asked softly, slipping onto the bed to sit by him. Slowly she slid her hand out towards his forehead again, taking the now barely damp face cloth away. It had been cool and wet before, but now it just felt warm and icky. Worst of all, his forehead was still hot to the touch and her efforts appeared to be in vain. Sighing softly to herself she looked down at him thoughtfully, trying to think of what to do next. Her hand slid across his forehead and down the left side of his face. She let it settle over his stubbled cheek gently as her thumb continued to stroke over his underlying cheekbone. 'What am I going to do with you?' she thought to herself.  
  
As if on cue Logan's eyes fluttered open slightly to look up at her, albeit rather dazed and with much effort on his part. His lips parted and moved, but no words came out. Max lowered her head towards, turning her ear towards him in a silent gesture for him to repeat it.   
  
"I'm sorry," The words were pushed past his lips as little more than a warm breath as his eyes fell closed again.   
  
"For what?" she asked turning towards him again, but refusing to back off anymore.  
  
Logan's eyes opened again and he looked visibly drained. The usually bright blue of his cerulean eyes was almost covered by his vastly dilated pupils. The black abyss that threatened to take the glow from his eyes only made her want to give up more than half her Manticore given strength to help him get better. His tongue slowly slipped out to wet his drying lips a little before he attempted an answer.  
  
"For this," he began slowly, his voice barely a whisper. "Tonight was supposed to be special. I'm sorry I ruined it."  
  
"There'll be plenty more nights like tonight, anyplace, anytime we want them," she reassured him as the hand that had been on his cheek slipped down and settled comfortably on his chest. "Right now I just wanna see you get better."  
  
There was a brief pause in which Logan managed to open his eyes again, some of the dazed haze slipping from them, leaving him a little less hindered. His words were at least coming out sounding a little more coherent now, much to Max's relief, but she wouldn't feel better, not till Bling was there and Logan was back to normal. Logan lifted his head a little to look down at his predicament. With a tired sigh he let his head fall back onto the pillows again as he returned his attention to Max.  
  
"I do feel a little like I've been hit by a freight train." His voice sounded a little stronger than before.  
  
"I don't know about trains, but you definitely hit the kitchen counter harder than it's ever been hit I'm sure." Her own voice was taking on a slightly more relieved tone as coherence appeared to return to him. It could only be a good thing, right?  
  
"But I took it right?" he offered her a weak smile.  
  
"Yeah, it's not gonna take you on again in a hurry."  
  
"Good," he said sounding a little pleased with himself as he shuffled a little more in bed. It was then that he realized he couldn't move below the waist. The effort made him realize just how fatigued he really was.  
  
"What's wrong?" Max asked noticing the slight frown slipping over his flushed features.  
  
"Just a little tired, that's all."  
  
"You should get some sleep, consider it an order from your acting Commanding Officer. Eyes Only is off active duty as of this moment."  
  
"It's too hot," Logan replied, nodding very slightly at her suggestion of rest.  
  
"Bling's coming over, I don't know what else to do for you right now," Max answered grudgingly. She hated to have to admit it, especially to him, but it was true.  
  
Logan understood the reluctance in her voice. It meant more to him than even he'd have thought at that moment. She wanted to help him, really be there for him when he needed her. How could she not see that she was already going beyond everything he really needed from her at that moment. He wasn't alone and he was with her. That was all he needed.   
  
Sighing he raised his left arm and shifted it aside making a space for Max beside him. Understanding the gesture, she smiled a little and slid in beside him. He was still a little warmer than she'd have liked, but she was really doing all she could. There was cold water and everything else she needed nearby, there'd be no harm in following his request. Sick or not, Max found it especially touching that being close to her was still something he valued even at moments like the one upon them now. Gently snuggling up beside him she felt his arm drop down behind her, closing round to hold her close. It felt nice, just being there for him...with him.  
  
"See, all better," Logan whispered, again his voice dropping to his usual whisper-soft tonnes. Fatigue was plainly evident in his voice now and his speech wasn't quite as sharp as it had been only moments before. Max knew it wasn't over and that there was still a way to go to get out of the woods, but at least he was conscious. Stopping as she noted his suddenly even breathing, Max raised her head to look at him again. His eyes were closed, his features serene at least for now.   
  
"All better," she echoed in a soft whisper. Laying her head back down gently on his chest Max took pleasure in the steady beating of his heart beneath her and prepared for the next stage in the operation. 


	4. Chapter Four

TITLE: State of Mind   
  
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman   
  
EMAIL: DreaJackman@Literati.co.uk   
  
RATING: PG-13   
  
SUMMARY: When Logan & Max are drawing closer by the day, what could fate possibly throw  
at them next?  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters involved. They belong to Cameron/Eglee  
Producions :(   
  
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.   
  
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!   
  
A/N: Okay peeps, here's chapter 4! Even I hadn't really planned on making it to 4 let alone 5  
and beyond (where I'm currently taking it believe it or not!). I'm really busy with end of term  
reports starting to be flung at me from all sides. Xmas break in 2 weeks! WOOHOO! BUT until  
then I'll be concentrating on getting these reports finished off and handed in so fic'll be taking a  
backseat...except for on the train where I seem to do alot of writing these days. Not sure when  
the rest will follow, but you'll bear with right? You're all way cool like that :o) Ty!  
  
___________________________________________________________   
  
  
The next thing Max was aware of was the odd feeling of disappointment as she felt the fuzziness  
of sleep fading from her senses. The dream, it had been a pleasant one at no mistake. No chair  
for Logan to worry about, no suit to malfunction at a critical moment, just the two of them  
enjoying a song she'd never heard before in each others arms. Soon afterward the memories of  
what had happened earlier that night caused her to bolt upright, the bed bouncing slightly under  
her sudden shift.  
  
Logan was still out cold, the same peaceful look on his face. The only thing that spoilt the  
reassurance she knew she should've felt at such a sight was the equally evident paling of his  
skin. He still wasn't right, she knew it only too well. Reaching out tentatively she brushed the  
backs of her fingers down his left cheek. The stubble was a calming influence, bringing some  
more sensation to a world that felt numb without his conscious presence.   
  
The dressing she'd applied to his head had already become slightly blood soaked, the bright red  
stain localized in the centre of the surrounding white canvas. Again, she found herself reflecting  
on his vulnerabilities, the ones that had never seemed apparent before. Logan lived alone the  
majority of the time. Bling was by at some point every day for training, she was by for dinner,  
chess and whatever mission Eyes Only had for her. The rest of the time, he was alone.   
  
Max found herself dwelling on the what ifs of the night's events. What if she hadn't been there?   
What if the suit had still given out and no one was there to help? What would've happened if  
she'd just declined the step forward in their relationship at least for tonight and refused him the  
request of yet another dinner together? Would it have stopped what happened? Would he be  
safer just not being around her at all?   
  
"What's wrong?" a weary voice whispered softly.  
  
Max's attention shot back as did her hand at the realization that she'd woke Logan up. With all  
the unsettling thoughts she'd been having, it felt comforting to just feel him near her.  
  
"You're sick," she replied, her voice smaller than usual, taking on the same frightened, child-like  
quality as before.  
  
"Nothing to be worried about," he reassured her as best he could from the fog still enveloping his  
mind.  
  
"It's enough."   
  
Her words were final, past the point of caring just how much Logan could take from their  
meaning. She could admit it, suddenly smaller things like hiding the truth didn't seem to matter  
as much to her at that moment, not as much as letting him know exactly how she felt. Truth was  
Max was worried sick, more than she'd ever been in her life of that she was sure.  
  
"It'll be okay Max, trust me."  
  
"Right, last time I had to feel like this you were..." she broke off mid-sentence as the memories  
drifted back.  
  
Logan didn't say anything, just closed his eyes and tried to mentally banish the aching drumming  
in his head. It was starting to drive him insane.  
  
"That isn't like now, I'm not gonna,"  
  
"Die on me?" Max interrupted, finishing his sentence for him. The last time she'd dealt with  
feelings of fear that held her like that instant was a few months back, when Logan had been  
dying in the hospital. But, then she'd been able to do something to help him. Now she just felt  
helpless and weak, powerless to protect him when she knew more than ever that's what she had  
to do.  
  
"Max," he breathed, his hand drifting up to clasp hers loosely in some attempt to sooth her.  
  
"I'm sorry,"  
  
Logan's only response was the mild furrowing of his brow in confusion, his hand gripping hers a  
little tighter as he forced the strength from his tired muscles.  
  
"I want to take the pain away, I wanna make you better, but I don't know how."   
  
Everything was beginning to pile on top of her. The fall, the worsening symptoms of a serious  
concussion she knew could only go from bad to worse unless she got him some help and to  
make matters worse, the brownout which prevented the immediate help she do desperately  
needed from coming. Tears began to well up, a single spilling over and cascading down her  
cheek.  
  
Logan only grew more restless. Fighting as hard as he could, he managed with much struggle  
to get himself up into an almost sitting position in the bed. His hand tugged gently on hers,  
trying to bring her closer to close the distance between them for he didn't have the strength to do  
it alone. His eyes found hers, dark and visibly in pain. A pain he'd have given his right arm to  
see banished from her beautiful features.  
  
"No, "he breathed in his usual whisper-soft tones. "Max."  
  
He wanted nothing more than to reassure her that he'd be fine, even though he was still partially  
scared himself. Only he knew how bad he was feeling, how much pain he was in and he  
couldn't make her belief something he still questioned himself. How could he make her believe  
he'd be fine and everything was going to be okay?  
  
As he saw the surrender in her eyes he shook his head slowly from side to side trying to implore  
her understanding. It wasn't her fault, bad things happened to everyone, even though they  
always seemed to travel in spades for them. It wasn't fair, but life rarely was. Still, seeing her  
torn up at the result of a simple accident was more than he could bear. More than that, the  
feelings radiating from her actions and her expressions told him more than the three words he'd  
longed to hear pass her lips for him could have ever spoken. And still it went unspoken between  
them, a tireless loose end that should've been tied up long ago.  
  
Max closed the distance at his beckoning and sought comfort in his arms once again. As his  
arms surrounded her they felt anything but weak, still as strong and powerful as she needed  
them to be in that instant. But, another sensation made her eyes flutter open and the comforting  
beat of his heart just beneath her ear grow fainter to her senses.   
  
The familiar, slight scrape of scruff against her forehead was the first she was aware of, but the  
next was a shock to her. Contrasting the coarse stubble there came the soft caress of his lips  
tentatively pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. In that moment all the walls and barriers  
crumbled and fell away. Nothing but the righteous feeling of the act was upon her, warming her,  
finally managing to take the fear away and wrap it up in some warm bundle as the sense of ease  
spread through her body.   
  
It was a feeling that echoed itself in Logan as he committed the act itself. All the pain pushed  
aside, not gone, but not at the forefront of all feeling anymore. The warmth spread throughout  
his body and he was sure he could feel it radiating all the way down right to the very tips of his  
toes despite knowledge to the contrary. The feeling that swept it's way through them both, it was  
love and it felt right. 


	5. Chapter Five

TITLE: State of Mind   
  
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman   
  
EMAIL: DreaJackman@Literati.co.uk   
  
RATING: PG-13   
  
SUMMARY: When Logan & Max are drawing closer by the day, what could fate possibly throw  
at them next?  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters involved. They belong to Cameron/Eglee  
Producions :(   
  
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.   
  
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!   
  
A/N: Woah, chapter 5 just popped outa nowhere there. That was pretty fast for 45 mins work.  
Hope y'all like it, cause like the title says, it's all about a State Of Mind. Bet all of you were  
sucked in by the twist in perspective too, but that's to be expected...or I hope it is cause that's  
what was supposed to happen to you! You'll see what I mean as you read this. Enjoy, and as  
always, review and lemme know what sucked and what didn't. It all helps. Ty :o) Other  
chapters coming soon.  
  
___________________________________________________________   
  
  
Max lifted her head slightly, her eyes seeking his driven by a motivation that went beyond  
seeking comfort. Their eyes locked, their lips bearly millimeters apart as Logan felt Max's warm  
breath on his lips. Max fought the shiver she felt as Logan's soft breath tickled and caressed her  
own lips. Her eyes drifted down from his eyes and focused on his lips briefly and as she found  
herself drifting forward towards them the sudden sound of the door flying open made her draw  
back.  
  
"Max?" a familiar voice called from the hall.  
  
"In here Bling!" she called, already hearing the heavy footfalls as he headed for Logan's  
bedroom.  
  
The door opened suddenly and Bling stepped inside, not at all comforted with the sight before  
him. Logan lay on the bed half conscious with Max sitting by him, looking more concerned than  
he'd ever seen her with the exception of the last time Logan had appeared to be on death's door.   
He could only wonder what a man who fought to do so much good for people who the majority of  
time were merely strangers to him did to deserve so many obstacles in his life. Moving to the  
bed he sat on the other side of Logan and looked to Max.  
  
"Been conscious long?"  
  
"In and out, but he seems a little more with it now than he did." she answered.  
  
He felt Logan's forehead and drew his hand away after a few seconds frowning. Gently he  
placed a thumb over each eyelid and drew it back to see into the man's eyes. Logan groaned  
immediately and tried to pull away, fighting to close his eyes as his head was split into a million  
different pieces as the pain shot through him.  
  
"What is it?" Max asked seeing Bling's reaction.  
  
"You said he hit his head?" he queried again.  
  
"Yeah, the servo on the suit gave out and he came down over the corner of the unit."   
  
"Hmm," he mumbled to himself, a look of pure concentration sweeping his determined features.  
  
Reaching forward he urged Logan to sit up as he slid a strong hand behind the man's head to  
support his rise. Again Logan fought to avoid the movement that brought nothing but aches and  
pains to his body. All he wanted to do was sleep, why couldn't they just leave him alone?  
  
"Logan man, I need you to concentrate for me okay? Max, gimme a hand here."  
  
Max complied, slipping a hand around Logan's back as he sat up in the bed, his head hanging  
as consciousness threatened to slip away again. Her other hand gripped his shoulder gently,  
but reassuringly strong even in the haze of confusion that consumed his every laboured thought.  
  
"Okay I want you to turn your head to face the left, then bring it across slowly to face right. Can  
you do that?" Bling asked, his voice always the same as Max remembered it. Strong but still so  
gentle. She supposed it was how he convinced the uncooperative to cooperate in the end.  
  
Logan showed no signs of cooperating however.  
  
"C'mon Logan, look at me," her voice implored him.  
  
Immediately Logan's brow furrowed again and he slowly brought his head up to face hers. She  
was sitting on his left side and his eyes locked with hers immediately, squinting as they were  
through the faint candlelight. Max smiled slightly as he obeyed her plead and then decided to try  
the next phase of the plan.  
  
"Now can you look at Bling for me?" her voice tested.  
  
Logan's chest heaved as he inhaled sharply and sighed in effort as he began to turn his head to  
face Bling on his right. As if the effort wasn't enough, a sudden pain shot up through his head  
and he stopped just as he reached the right side.  
  
"That's okay man, that's enough. Max, do me a favour and pull his shirt the rest of the way off?"  
he asked still sounding comfortingly in control of the situation.  
  
Max complied once again, slipping the shirt clear of Logan's arms and pulling it aside out of the  
way. It was pretty much soaked in sweat and Logan's body glistened in front of her, a testament  
to a still glaringly high temperature.  
  
"Check out his back, see anything there?"  
  
Max shifted round and examined Logan's exposed back, the visible strain of breathing evident  
as the muscles beneath the surface were drawn taught and released in repeating patterns. She  
gently reached out and touched his hot skin, drawing her hand over the surface as she looked  
closer. Slight realisation crept over her at Bling's request and she dearly hoped that's all it  
would be. She almost laughed out loud when she found what she suspected Bling had her  
searching for.  
  
"Beginnings of a slight rash, nothing big yet." she said almost breathing her sigh of relief right  
then.  
  
Bling smiled a little to himself too. He nodded and gestured for Max to shift back out of the way  
and she took up her previous position, supporting his left side as together she and Bling lowered  
Logan back against the pillows behind him. Logan groaned at the sudden movement and closed  
his eyes to the spinning room again.  
  
"Looks like our boy got himself a bout of the chicken pox," Bling stated looking to Max a little in  
wonderment as to how she could've been so worried over something so generally small in  
significance.  
  
"That's still around?" she asked in seeming disbelief. Max remembered a brief mention of it as a  
virus of the 20th century, but even from early childhood there hadn't been a mentioned case in  
years. It was something she had just supposed gradually went the way of smallpox, although not  
in the same degree. She just didn't expect it was around in their broken world of the future.  
  
"Not half as much as it used to be, but yeah it's still around."  
  
"So he's gonna be okay?" she asked afraid to sound too happy incase it was all too good to be  
true.  
  
"He's not gonna think so when the fever goes down a little and he's feeling a little better. That  
rash's gonna kick in over the next twenty-four hours and he's gonna need a whole lot of  
willpower not to scratch. Other than that, by morning he should be feeling a little better."  
  
"Think we'll manage that," Max answered looking down at Logan.  
  
"Hey," Bling said gripping her shoulder tightly in a gesture of reassurance. "He really is gonna  
be fine y'know."  
  
"I know," Max said turning to look at him. Pursing her lips together she thought for a moment  
about the state of mind she'd been in earlier and then smiled a little again. She seemed to be  
doing that alot in the past few minutes. "I just, y'know," she began looking for a better way to  
explain. "Took me a while to realise some stuff, put it all in perspective."  
  
Bling smiled a knowing smile and nodded his understanding. "Think it's been a long time  
coming, am I wrong?"  
  
"Not always used to this kinda stuff," Max felt a slight blush on her cheeks and averted her eyes  
from his at that moment.  
  
"You two got some stuff to talk about when he's coherent again huh?"  
  
"Yeah," she looked back at him with a satisfied look on her face. "I guess we do."  
  
Bling squeezed his grip on her shoulder as he shifted on the bed and stood up slowly.   
Stretching out his tensed muscles he looked around the room, noting the basin by his feet and  
the wet towels scattered around.  
  
"Need some help cleaning up?"   
  
"Nah, I can take care of it," she shrugged just happy to know what to do to help now.   
  
"You're okay staying with him right now?" he asked not wanting to stick her with nurse duty if she  
had other stuff to take care of, although he suspected he couldn't have forced her out of the  
apartment if he tried.  
  
"Yeah Bling, we're cool,"  
  
Standing up she walked out of the room with Bling, a sudden air of calm radiating through the  
apartment. Wrapping her arms across her upper body she followed him towards the door and  
stopped behind him when he turned back, door handle in hand.  
  
"I'll call again in the morning, check on how he's doin'. Tonight could be pretty rough, looks like  
it's hitting him pretty hard already."   
  
"You're not gonna get sick on me too are you?" she asked suddenly realising that she didn't  
want two sick friends on her plate.  
  
"Nah, I had it when I was a kid. Guessin' askin' you the same is kinda a given?"  
  
"I'd go for genetically immune," she agreed offering him a slight smile.  
  
"I'll talk to you in the morning," he nodded opening the door and stepping out into the darkened  
hall. With the brownout the hall lights were out, the elevators offline so the stairs were the only  
option. Not a problem for the healthy and considering he'd just bombed it up them to get to Max  
and Logan, it'd be no problem striding down them with ease.  
  
"G'night Bling. Thanks."  
  
Bling smiled as he disappeared into the dark stairwell shaking his head slightly. That girl really  
did have her head spun by something pretty harmless. He supposed she had it worse than he  
thought even Logan did. He'd watched his friend mope after her for around a year and now it  
looked like things were finally going to work out for them. Heading back out into the darkened  
city, Bling made his way home, relief lightening his step all the way. 


End file.
